Our place in this world

No, I'm not going to sing a song from Les Misérables , but this song did come to mind as I was walking around work today.  Since our company was acquired in April, there has been a very different look and feel around the office having empty cubes where once there were none.  Where we had a buzz of activity and energy, now it's much quieter, less active, and more cautious.  From an environment of creativity and projects to one of the mundane and maintenance.  A bit depressing. We, as Americans, put so much of who we are into our careers to the extent that we let them define us, sometimes becoming all that we are; oftentimes outside of our careers and titles, we are left empty.  I felt this way over the past several years.  I put so much into my role, changing how I thought and growing every day, becoming an "executive" that I started to forget who I was. Then I experienced a change at work where my job duties remained the same, but my title and pay decreased.  No l

In August my oldest daughter, EmmaRae, will be married to a wonderful young man, Zak.  I can still remember her when she was born, when she was a little girl, and when she was a school girl.  We've prayed for the right young man to come into her life for many years, and now that she's about to be married, we couldn't be happier. As a father, I never wanted boys around because I remember what I was like.  Because of this, boys were my sworn mortal enemies.  But slowly, Em stopped thinking as I did and started being interested in them.  Then one day they started showing up at our house like cockroaches; they were everywhere and would scurry away when I got home.  I did my best to run them off, to strike fear in them, and to let them know I was the alpha male.  I always had "the talk" when a boy would ask my permission to date Em.  I would let them know how I expected her to be treated, with respect and dignity.  One by one, they all came and went. Then, it happ

This is the fourth and final pillar to success,  Value Everyone .  This is the most important of all. Merriam Webster defines value as having relative worth, utility or importance, something intrinsically valuable or desirable. With this definition we can assume that to value everyone is to treat others as though they have worth, utility, and importance; that they have an intrinsic value and are desirable. To value everyone is to treat others as you want to be treated, to be kind, to include, to speak with, to work to understand others, even those very different from yourself. So what does the above look like?  For years I told my daughters that people different from them were "Not wrong, just different."  People have intrinsic value regardless of job, station, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, ability, etc.   It's easy to be nice or speak to your boss or those "above" you in life.  But what about those "equal" to or &qu

The third pillar to success,  Lead Courageously . Merriam Webster defines "lead" as  to guide someone or something along a way, to direct on a course or in a direction, to go through, to suggest to, to bring to some conclusion or condition, to tend to or have a result. Merriam Webster defines "courage" as  mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.  The ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous. Using those definitions, we can assume that to lead courageously is to guide, direct, suggest or bring someone along even though it may be difficult, dangerous or fearful. To lead courageously is to lead by example while always doing the right thing. This is despite how hard or uncomfortable it might be even though you may fear that which you must do. So what does the above look like?  In reality, it takes many forms, but regardless of your role in life or work you must know and un

The second pillar to success,  Accept Responsibility . Merriam Webster defines responsibility as  the quality or state of being responsible such as moral, legal or mental accountability, trustworthiness, something for which one is responsible. Starting with that definition, we can assume that to accept responsibility is to conduct oneself morally and legally and to be trustworthy and accountable.  I contend this is the second thing we must do if we want to be successful.   To accept responsibility is to stop pointing fingers and relying on others.  We need to come to terms with the fact that everything that happens to us, outside of accidents, etc., is in some way caused, affected, or influenced by us.  We must accept the good and the bad consequences of our choices.  And if there is a problem, we need to find an appropriate solution and fix it.  So what does the above look like?  It means that if we want a promotion, we need to find out what it takes to get to the

The first pillar to success, Reject Passivity . Merriam Webster defines "passive" as lacking in energy or will, lethargic, tending not to take an active part, exhibiting no gain or control, receiving or enduring without resistance, submissive. Using this definition as our starting position, we can assume that to reject passivity would be to exhibit energy or will, not to be lethargic. We would take an active part, take control, resist, and never submit.  I contend this is what we must do in life if we want to be successful. To reject passivity is to be intentional.  For years I've told my daughters "Life is full of choices, but every choice has a consequence".  To be successful each day you must be intentional with your choices. You must make a choice to take that small step forward, do that one simple thing that will move you towards your goal and then do the next one and the next one and the next one.  This becomes habitual over time and a way of thin

Recently I shared questions I typically get regarding how to have a successful career.  Those conversations always lead to additional questions about what steps people can start taking now to ensure success.  Today I'd like to share with you the Four Pillars of success that have helped me along the way. Robert Lewis outlined in his book "Raising a Modern Day Knight - A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood" four qualities of a real man, they are... Reject Passivity Accept Responsibility Lead Courageously Expect God's Greater Reward I'm a Christian and believe the Bible, and so much of my point of view is influenced by that fact.  I realize that not everyone thinks as I do and as I'm an HR Executive it's not advisable to share my faith openly. Because of this, I've taken the liberty of revising the list and modifying their meanings to make them relevant for today's secular workplace regardless of gender or belief, while

As an HR Executive I often get employees or interns in our company inviting me to coffee.  They all have similar questions... How can I be successful in my career? What do I need to do to get promoted? Can you tell me what I have to do to be an executive like you? I'm always excited to get these invites and look forward to the conversations.  Nearly everyone who approaches me is younger and earlier in their career than I am.  And they all have a passion, energy and a desire to succeed and are willing to ask for help and then work to get what they want.  They are moldable and eager to listen.  I love helping those who want to be helped! Once we've gotten our coffee I always start by asking a series of questions... Why are you working? Why do you want to be more successful than you already are? What does success look like to you?  Is it a big title, a fat paycheck, leading people, prestige, what? What are you doing in other aspects of your life to ensure success? F

Why am I blogging?  What's my purpose or goal of sharing these thoughts and ramblings of mine? I enjoy it.  I'm not sure why, but as long as there have been social media, I've been on it and I've enjoyed sharing my life, my experiences, my food, etc.  I enjoy life, I have fun, I love my family and I love to eat, and for some weird reason, I feel compelled to share that excitement with the world as though someone really cares about what I had for dinner. I believe I have something to offer.   I have been in the workforce, post-university, for over 25 years and married for nearly as long.  Along the way, I've learned a few things--mostly the hard way.  I've had successes and failures.  I've been laid off and I've been promoted.  I've been so poor that we couldn't afford to buy groceries, and so well off that, we've been able to help others.  I have an amazing wife who truly makes me better than I am.  We've raised two beautiful, respon

It occurred to me last night, as I was on a date with my oldest daughter, that I have yet to define why I'm on this quest.  So, here goes... I'm on this quest to find my place in this world because there is a lot of change happening in our lives right now and I want to know what I'm supposed to do with it all.  I'm a planner, and right now I have no idea where this path that I'm on leads me or my family.  You see, Stacey and I are in this weird stage of life. I'm being laid off from my employer after seven years as an HR Executive. Our oldest daughter is getting married in August. Our youngest daughter just started a new job.   Both of our fathers are dealing with life-changing health issues.   All of this is making me re-evaluate what's important, what really matters to me, and making me reconsider what I want out of the last half of my life.  Of course, the easy thing to do would be to keep doing what I've done for 20+ years, but Stacey and

I'm blessed to have been offered a severance package after my employment ends in December, which will be enough to support our needs for a few months.  My termination will be in the middle of a Missouri winter, so I'm thinking we should travel someplace warm like Central or South America for a period of time, perhaps a month?  I've been doing a lot of research online and talking with people I know who are familiar with these regions and Costa Rica keeps coming up.  The thought of making our home base near a beach while having access to mountains, lakes, etc. is appealing to me.  So, what will it be?  Costa Rica?  Or another warm climate in the Americas?

I've been with my current employer for seven years, but it's all coming to an end on December 14.  In January of this year, my employer announced that it was being acquired by another company and the deal closed in April.  A few weeks ago, we laid off nearly a thousand employees.  Several of us were deferred until a later time to assist with the transition, and while it has been a sad few months, I learned that I will be deferred until December.  With that news, I booked a vacation in Cabo San Lucas for Stacey and me.  We leave December 15th.  I figure a few days on the beach at an all-inclusive resort might be in order because of all that has transpired this year.

Well, I'm not sure yet what I'm doing, but I think I'm starting to get the bones of a blog set up.  Please bear with me over the coming days and weeks as I get everything figured out.  Stacey and I are eager to get a few pics and stories up of past trips...and I'm especially eager to talk about what's next after December 14th.  Stay tuned...